Apparently, I’m 23.🌷

Jordan year…or what do y’all call it?

I’m one of those people who doesn't like announcing their age.

Every year, I post the pictures, the captions, make the “grateful for another year” posts and quietly just disappear.

I used to think it didn’t really matter. I know no one is going to beat me for not announcing my age (duhhhh) but for so long l knew it was way more than that. Maybe it's because I look way younger than I am. Maybe it's because every new age feels more serious than the person I think I am. Maybe…

To be honest making it known always felt like opening myself up to a kind of judgement I wasn't ready for and this year was no different.

Imagine me quietly turning 23 and acting like nothing happened. Well... in my defense, 23 sounded very serious. Like, too serious. Some of my male friends got married to their wives between the ages of 22 and 24. Some are building careers. Some are doing all these grown-up things and looking responsible while doing them. Meanwhile, I'm here like... "Wait first. Me? Twenty-three??!!"

The funniest part was when I was chatting with a friend on Ig and he said, "Woah, welcome to your Jordan year."

I was like, Kini?

Like Kiloshele gan gan?

I immediately ran to Google sha.

Because uncle, what do you mean Jordan year???

Na so I start to dey read o. I began seeing all those things people say about 23. I was just laughing. But somewhere inside my head, there was also a small voice whispering, "Peace... time don reach to serious o."

And honestly, that's what 23 feels like so far.

You're not old. You're not young either. But you're old enough for life to start asking harder questions. Questions about purpose. Questions about responsibility. Questions about what exactly you're doing with your life. And before you say it, no, this isn't comparison o. But let's not pretend we don't all feel that urge to compare sometimes.

Funnily enough, some days I actually accept that not everyone has it all figured out. That most people are like me too, figuring things out as they go. Which is slightly comforting, to be honest.

my brain telling me weldone because I’m giving excuses again.

Now, if you're 22, please come closer. COME CLOSERRRRR!!!

Don't rush this thing. Take your time. Live. Try things. Embarrass yourself a little. Start the project. Send the application. Talk to the people. Take the picture. Wear the outfit. Apply for the opportunity. Go on that date. Find your church. Fall in love if you wish to. 😂

Well… to be serious

Because nobody tells you that one day you'll wake up and suddenly be 23. And somehow people start looking at you like you're supposed to know THINGS. Me that I'm still trying to understand some things myself.

And to those of you that are 24, 25, 26 and above... Where are you people right now? 🥺

I'm taking notes.

If there is any survival guide, now is the time to release it oooooooo. Because you people have been suspiciously quiet.

I think being 23 might just be doing things that scare you. It's daring to do things that don't always make sense at first. It's realizing that fear doesn't magically disappear one morning. You just become brave enough to move with it.

And honestly, I want that from 23.

Not overthinking every step. Not living like every mistake is the end of the world. Not being so cautious that I never fully experience the beauty in life.

Because if I'm being honest, 22-year-old me was careful. Very careful. Infact too careful. (My subsconscious tells me it paid off)

But heyyy, l was always thinking:

"What if this goes wrong?" "What if people don't like it?" "What if I fail?" "What if I embarrass myself?"

This year, I want to ask a different question.🥹

What if it works? And even if it doesn't? At least I tried. At least I lived. At least I showed up.

So here's to 23. 🌷

Old enough to know better.

Young enough to still blame some things on growth.

And hopefully brave enough to do some of the things that have scared me for far too long.

Nice to meet you